Advice - Beat the House Party Anxiety!
The time will come in your swinging career when, out of the blue, you’ll get an invite to a house party. What’s a house party you ask? A house party is where a couple, in their own home, hosts multiple swinging couples and/or singles. That definition leaves you with lots of questions, doesn’t it? Good! Ask those questions!
We’ve advised in earlier posts about our preference to meet at clubs and hotels as the pressure we’ve felt at home meets has been intense. We also don’t prefer banging away with pictures of little Suzy and Aunt Ethel watching while the cat screams to get in the room. Worse yet is when one of their adult kids pops in and you have to do the walk of shame past them (we’ve written about that one!)
However, as with everything in life, there are exceptions to the rule. In fact, our most exciting, mind-blowing night was at a house party. So, don’t rule them out immediately, just proceed with the same caution you should take with all swinging. Ask the questions!
Here’s a bit of a checklist of things to ask the party host:
1. What are the expectations of the party? This question opens the conversation about what will go on during the event. If the answer is, “we all just go with the flow,” what does that mean? Does it mean that whoever shows up is expecting to have sex with you as part of this nebulous. “go with the flow,” vibe?
2. Are we the only newbies to the group? What you are getting at here is, are we the fresh meat? If this is a long-standing group, will your female half be mobbed as she brings the excitement of the new?
3. May we get the swinging profiles of the other people attending? Wouldn’t it be nice to look up the people who are attending and know their likes and dislikes, what they look like, and if they smoke or don’t use condoms?
4. What are the bisexual expectations? Some parties start with sexy pictures of the ladies all together and then the ladies are expected to play together while the men watch and get jazzed up. If that isn’t your thing, then you need to know!
5. Where is the play area? Are you banging on someone’s couch? Are there bunches of separate bedrooms and an expectation of playing apart? Will there be showers and towels available?
6. What about the parking? Is it a long drive where your car will get boxed in and you won’t be able to leave when you decide the party isn’t your scene? Is your car going to be on display for anyone who knows you to see?
7. Will there be recreational drug use? If so, that opens up a whole can of worms as far as questions. Personally, that’s a non-starter for us but, if you are into that sort of thing you should probably question carefully what’s going on.
Now that you’ve chatted extensively with the host/hostess, you need to get your and your spouse/partner’s head around the idea of a house party. Sure, there will be snacks, flirting, and banter, maybe some icebreaker games that get folks in the mood and more undressed. But, it isn’t just about flirt and tease. These folks have invited you because they think you will fit in well and fuck them and their friends.
If you're just curious about a house party, take our advice, stay in the shallow end of the swinging pool, and go to a club instead where you can walk away easily at any time with no repercussion. You need to know that, if you ditch a house party without playing, you have closed the door to all those couples and their extended friends and friends of friends. Word gets out that you aren’t a serious swinger.
That said… never play when you don’t want to play! It’s much better to get shunned by a circle of swingers than to have to bang a big fat bald sweaty smoker. Make sure your, “get out of dodge,” signals are clear and that you keep an eye on your partner’s comfort level. Play with both eyes open.
We loved the big house party we attended! We were the fresh meat but didn’t mind too much. The food was excellent. The icebreaking was smooth. The couples were all super-hot! Best of all the play was in a dedicated playroom with a giant bed and a raised platform. All the couples played and shared. It was a wonderful six couple fun-fest that, no exaggeration, lasted for four hours non-stop, then a break for water/food/wine, then another three hours push to monstrous orgasms. Exhausting but fun!