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Advice – Let’s be Clear!

Updated: Jun 7, 2020

So, you are chatting with a sexy couple or single and the question comes out, it always does, “what are you guys into?” Warning! This is your time to be clear, crystal clear!

You pause, look at your partner, and fall for the oldest mistake in swinging – not being clear. There is a certain urge to demure and respond, “well we are exploring soft swing.” Or, you might say something like, “we aren’t into pain but otherwise are feeling out way forward.”

Maybe you’ve read on the swinging websites how most people say they aren’t into the three Ps. You might even know that the three Ps are Pain, Pee and Poo. So, you throw the answer out casually trying to sound like you know what you’re doing. “Well, we are fairly new but definitely aren’t into the three Ps.”

What we’ve found is that most experienced swingers are super specific in describing what they want and what the don’t want. In fact, it can be a bit disconcerting how descriptive they can be with their answer. We’ve felt a bit embarrassed listening to a lady very frankly explain that she didn’t mind pinky’s inserted in her bum but not fingers or thumbs. I’ve actually giggled once and really shown off our newbieness.

However, you must suck it up and shoot straight with your potential playmates! This will set the boundaries, establish the rules, and keep your fun all fun. We suggest you sit down with your partner over a coffee or glass of wine and practice your answer. Many times, the question gets popped by the other couple’s female when the ladies inevitably head off to the powder room or when the guys go to get drinks at the bar. So, you both have to be able to answer the question directly.

Here are our answers to the question, “what are you into?”

Couple/Single Female – “We aren’t into the three Ps, we reserve anal for ourselves, Courtney doesn’t prefer cum in mouth but doesn’t mind on the body. We play safe. By safe we mean that penetration is with a condom. Courtney is situationally bi and will almost never initiate bi play but will receive and may give depending on how hot the situation. We don’t play separately and are into good clean fun not romance. We do like to keep a tight circle of couples as friends and revisit them over and over.”

Single Male – “We aren’t into the three Ps, we reserve anal for ourselves. Courtney doesn’t prefer cum in mouth but doesn’t mind on the body. We play safe and by that mean that penetration is with a condom. We don’t play separately, ever. We do not like men who try to play dominant and have zero interest in the cuckhold scene. Courtney prefers hard pounding by average hung guys and if you are too big we will ask you to only use partial penetration positions. Your job will be as our flesh dildo. If you are good with all that then we can proceed. If not, have a great evening and happy hunting for what you want.”

It sounds crass and a little bit over the top to get that detailed but, believe it or not we really do say those things and many times more. Avoid ugly misunderstandings that can ruin a night - It pays to be clear.

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