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Advice – Let’s talk about Dick!

So, Alex has me writing this which is an embarrassing and weird experience. But, I’m infinitely more qualified than Alex to talk about men’s privates. We’ve been swinging now for three years and during that time I’ve had the chance to experience a wide variety of penis sizes, shapes and most importantly the guys attached to the penises. I know there are probably some ladies out there with much more experience and probably some pros who have had magnitudes more experience. However, I can speak with the authority of having seen, shall we say, my share.

The lifestyle seems to attract men who are on the larger side where it comes to penis size. If you look at average sizes in medical literature you will find that 5-7 inches long is average. Also, you will find that 85% of women don’t care about penis size compared to 55% of men who are unsatisfied with their size (NHS website statistics). Width (girth), curve, angle, texture are all completely different from man to man and make for some wild sights!

I’m not here to blow smoke and make you feel better about yourself. If you are going to have a self esteem hit when I talk about my preferences then you might want to stop reading about now. If you continue, I will tell you exactly what I like and why I prefer my playmates to have certain characteristics. I will also tell you what most other swinging ladies I've chatted with prefer.


Ok, you kept reading, so here goes – I don’t prefer dicks over ~7.5 inches. I’m fairly ambivalent about large girth and the angle tends to not make a huge difference. I do like a bit of an upward curve, right at 6-7.5 inches in length and enough girth to feel. The texture and veins on the surface don't mean too much but some dicks are much squishier to the touch (usually the big ones) and I like those that are rock hard.

Length is all fine and dandy until you get your cervix bashed for a couple of hours in a play session. That can really be uncomfortable and unpleasant for days. So, you tell me you have a big dildo your husband bought for you and when you struggle and work it in, you immediately have a huge orgasm. Ladies, I’m telling you, that dildo sensation doesn’t transfer to the real thing.

When you have a guy with a huge penis, the novelty is pretty intense. You marvel at how you can barely get your hand around it or how the weight of it is so substantial. You measure it as it lies across your tummy and think, “where will all of that go?” Surprisingly, your vagina will accommodate most patient playmates, even the most giant. But, unlike that massive dildo you ground your hips against while you vibrated yourself, this dick wants to move and move violently!

No matter how gentle and slow a guy with a massive penis starts out, he will eventually go wild and bang you hard. He needs the friction back and forth to orgasm and he’s going to do what it takes to get off. This means an uncomfortable pain (which you can work through and still orgasm and some ladies enjoy) and a serious bruised feeling for days.

Another thing about big dicks is that they are often attached to big dicks. Guys who are used to having a woman orgasm quickly at the initial size shock, don’t learn to use what they’ve got to really please a woman. I’ve found that guys with small to medium sized dicks are much more likely to be good play partners who know just how to work all the buttons and get you to maximum multiple earth-shattering orgasms.

The angle is interesting as I’ve played with quite a few variations. Some angles make certain positions more difficult. Ladies, don’t try and bend those dicks! You can actually break them! A friend of ours ended up in the emergency room with a broken dick. They were a couple who played separately and his family found out about their swinging when they arrived at the emergency room to see poor dad with his broken dick and mom wasn’t there as she was still out with someone else!

So, too large really is a thing but so too is too small. I know there’s nothing a guy can do about it but, it’s at least true for me that 5 inches and smaller just don’t get me to the most worked up I can be. Plenty of oral and good technique go a long way for those with a small penis but, it’s too easy to find a decent playmate with a 6-7 inch penis. If I was in love with the guy with a small penis, I would make it work for life. Given the choice among swinging playmates, small isn't a show stopper but, it isn’t my preference.

Flaccid size doesn’t mean a thing. Some are “showers” and some are “growers.” Alex is a grower and I never really had met a “shower” until we started swinging. We all lay down on the bed and Alex’s penis looked tiny next to the long flaccid penis of the guy I was with. Not long later, both guys were erect and ready to go and their dicks were the same size. Actually, Alex may have been bigger!

So, in summary, as I’ve gone all over the place talking about dicks and completely lost the plot of what I was saying, I like dicks! I love that there are such a variety of penises among men! Swingers tend to really take care of their manhood by trimming up the hair and having immaculate hygiene. Most swingers really know how to use what they’ve got due to their extra practice and experience. You can’t beat a swinging dick!

All women are different and there are some true size queens out there who are always on the hunt for the next dinosaur, elephant trunk, tentacle thing. There are also a few ladies I’ve talked with who fetishize the little dick and tend to really be into anal sex and double penetration. But, when you chat with all these ladies in the hot tub, they usually admit that the size thing (large or small) is a fun fetish for their swinging play time but, that they would really prefer an average size dick for everyday use.

Take it from swinging women, we really do like average sized dicks attached to great guys. We like guys who know how to take care of their dicks and how use them to the best of their ability. Big dicks and small dicks, though not usually the first choice, are appreciated and have a happy place in the swinging universe. Happy swinging to all of you out there who happen to have a dick!

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Jan 05, 2022

By the way, Courtney can't fit that dildo! But, it does make a great photo prop :)

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