Advice – Single Guys and the Swinging Website
As a single guy cruising on swinging websites, you really have the cards stacked against you. Swinging sites are not dating sites. Single guys face stiff (pun intended) competition on swinging websites. In fact, the typically lazy impatient single male (I was one once) needs extreme patience and effort to make swinging websites work.
Swinging sites are vastly different than dating sites. First, the motives of couples and single women on a swinging site is much more like a “tinder” scenario than a “plenty of fish” scenario. Couples and singles are looking for playmates they can enjoy and were it comes to single men tend to be quite shallow. Couples and single women want to know that a single male isn’t a psyco, can maintain enough conversation to get to the point and keep everything at ease, will be respectful of their wishes, and of course they want top of the line eye candy. Notice that nowhere in there did we mention winning personality, great sense of humor, your job, your car, your house or the word average in any way.
Couples and single women on swinging websites have thousands and thousands of single men competing for their attention. They really don’t have to settle for average. In fact, if you don’t have six pack abs and their preferred size of penis you typically can’t compete. You will find that single women and couples can and do place all sorts of restrictions on what they are looking for in a single male… because they can. When couples and single women are searching for another couple they must be forgiving as there just aren’t as many. We’ve seen criteria on sites for single guys such as, no bald guys, no guys under 6’2”, no guys with less than 8” penis, no beards, no chest hair (or the reverse) and other such demands.
In fact, you can dig through a very plain, in normal life, single woman’s verifications (notes from people she’s played with) and take a look at the type of guy they pull. As a single guy you will be shocked to see a heavily overweight, 50-year-old lady pulling Olympian sex god single men in their 20s one after the other. Once again, this isn’t a dating site.
Ok, what can single guys do to help themselves out? Well, if you think about it, your website profile is your only window of opportunity to get noticed by a single lady or couple. Make it good. By that we mean, work to eliminate anything even slightly off putting. Have plenty of text to describe yourself, your sex hopes and dreams, and to hype up how reliable you are. Have lots of artful pictures to include one or two dick pics buried deep in the stack. (Never lead with a dick pic. Chicks just don’t usually dig it and in couples the male is usually working the site and he usually doesn’t dig it.) Don’t send obvious cut and paste messages. At least tailor your messages slightly for each couple or single female. Lastly, fulfill whatever hoops the website requires to verify you are real and then get that all important in-person verification.
There are tons and tons of single male dreamers on these sites who are just looking at pictures, sending out messages they never intend to act upon, and then masturbating furiously. Single women and couples need to know you will actually show up to a meet. The main means of assuring themselves that you are real is reading verifications from other single women and couples stating that you showed up at a meet, looked like your pictures and didn’t go nuts.
The best way to get your initial verification is to attend a club and be polite. Don’t go to a club assuming you will get anything more than an eyeful or you will probably be disappointed. Chat up the club manager and it is highly likely you will get a verification from the club saying you are polite, look like your picture and are not a lunatic. That verification will open doors for you that were previously closed.
Last point, you must be super patient as a single guy on swinging websites. Reading what single guys say on sites leads us to believe that 6 months or more before your first meet isn’t bad at all (and that’s for above average dudes.) If you are an average dude you are best off finding a partner in the real world and then working towards swinging if you ever feel like it. It sucks for single guys but it is possible given time and effort.
*** We are happy to provide advice to single guys on improving their chances. Just understand that our feedback will be honest. ***
As a single straight guy new to the scene I actually really love the social side to it which was a surprise!
I think almost everyone is of a similar mindset.
Also the lack of inhibition means if someone is a bit of a dick they show that really early!
I actually think it may be better for dating than the regular apps for that reason.