Advice – That First Couple

Our first time to soft swap and to full swap were with the same couple. I know that for me, entire experience was easier in that we felt we really knew the couple before we started any play. To some extent they seduced us as a couple and led us down the merry path to swinging. We are eternally grateful that our first couple were experienced enough to initiate us gracefully.

We went to a club by ourselves for our first experience and were nearly scared off the scene completely. Sure, it’s easy to imagine what might go on in a swinging club but, actually seeing it is another thing entirely! On our second toe dip into swinging we met Bob and Molly. They, in the course of time, took our swinging cherry!

Our first meeting was by chance. Bob and Molly were relaxing on a sofa in the swinging club, window shopping, as Courtney and I entered the establishment. I saw Bob’s eyes light up immediately as if he knew us and then he turned and whispered to Molly who, in turn, gave me a speculative look. We learned later that Bob and Molly had a game called “would/wouldn’t” that they played when they saw a new couple. We were in the “would” column.

We ended up spending hours just chatting with them about swinging and they didn’t even once ask us to do anything. Knowing we weren’t going to get ravaged by crazy swingers helped us relax. We learned tons and used Bob and Molly as a sounding board for our concerns with swinging. It was great to find out that normal, well-adjusted couples were swinging and weren’t destroying their relationships.

Over several meets we ended up following them back to a private room and playing next to them on a large bed. We ended up not doing almost any touching of Bob and Molly and were happy that way. The thrill of being so close to another naked couple was amazing! Hearing and seeing other’s who were enjoying themselves, and knowing they were enjoying seeing us, was intoxicating.

Over a few more meets we were introduced to soft swinging where the couples shared oral sex. Bob and Molly made it all fun and easy. The ladies started out sucking their own partner, down on their knees. Molly asked Courtney if she didn’t mind her giving me a few sucks. I stared wide eyed as Courtney nodded and let Molly lean over for a couple of long slow sucks up and down my length. It wasn’t long until we were easily swapping oral without any worry or jealousy.

We worked up to the big first full swap over several visits and when it finally happened, we loved every second of it. The sight of Bob pushing himself gently into my wife Courtney while I, at the same time, pushed into Molly was amazing. Courtney said the strange wildness of the situation sent her immediately into orgasm. I did have some jealous feelings after as post coitus snuggling seemed to go on too long, but I expressed me feelings honestly and Bob said that my feelings were perfectly normal and that he had been a bit insensitive.


We also, as a couple, found it unsettling in a weird way when we found out that Bob and Molly were having other meets and how freely they talked about their other adventures. We were slightly jealous as a couple! We chatted with Bob and Molly about those feelings and expressed how bewildered we were at the feelings. Molly laughed out loud and described how they had gone through some of the same feelings with their first couple. Then, they sweetly directed us to get out of the kiddie pool and go find other couples in the deep end.

In swinging you must get your feelings out there and up front. Sex is a powerful emotional event and can lead to confusion and misunderstanding without open honesty. You can’t sit holding worries or desires inside.


We learned that from Bob and Molly’s gentle instruction and were able to grow as swingers into the confident, secure swingers we are today. We have them to thank for helping us ease into swinging. And, we had a brilliant time learning those lessons while getting yelled at for making too much noise in a hotel!

We suggest that when you do start your swinging, that it isn’t with a drunk buddy. We advise that you investigate the swinging scene and meet an experienced couple who can answer your questions face to face. We found that easing into the swinging lifestyle was less of a shock to the system than jumping right in and suggest that could be the case for you as well. Or maybe you came from a super promiscuous background and have a partner who doesn’t have a jealous bone in their body. If so, then go for it!

We hope you all find a good Bob and Molly to help you find your way. If you don’t find a Bob and Molly, we sincerely hope our blog and books serve as some sort of help as you feel your way forward. Let us know how it goes!

Happy swinging!




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