We all get super involved in what we’re doing during a meet and can lose sight of #1! By #1, I mean your partner not yourself! If you think about it, a man is nearly always facing the person he is playing with (it requires really strange positions to alter that fact.) Meanwhile a female has any number of positions where she is facing away from her playmate and can't see what he's doing. It’s your job to make sure someone doesn’t take advantage of the situation.
With your face planted in a yummy crotch or your eyes clamped shut in bliss, it is easy to miss possible issues your partner is facing. I personally have thought a meet went great and then, when comparing notes afterwards, found out that things were horrible for her. That will never ever happen again!
The first meet is always the critical one as you probably only know these people from a pub social or chatting via your swinger’s website. It isn’t like you’ve been dating for several months. Everything is new with them and you don’t know their home bedroom norms. You also, certainly, don’t know their nonverbal sex vocabulary.
We’ve had one instance where a couple we really liked at a club social invited us back to their home for dinner and fun. He and Courtney were on the couch playing and I was on a separate sofa playing with his wife. I looked over and the bastard had taken off his condom and was about to enter Courtney from behind after we had specifically told the couple we are safe sex only! I yelled at him which caused the entire event to go sideways but, was in time to save the day.
We had another instance, where I was providing a stunning lady oral sex, when things went wrong in the first 5 minutes of a meet. During those first 5 minutes the male half of the other couple started receiving oral from Courtney. We had expressed prior to playing that Courtney wasn’t interested in allowing completion orally. However, this douche bag, after only a few strokes, grabbed Courtney’s head and forced her to stay on him while he came. If I had known at the time, I would been obliged to punch him out. Sadly, Courtney was so shocked that she didn’t know what to do and didn't say anything as the dude said things were done and they had to go. I couldn't understand why they took off before we’d done almost anything. I even thought that maybe I had done something until Courtney let me know what had happened.
So, word to the wise, keep your eye on what is happening to your partner. You really can’t just let go and lose yourself in the moment until you’ve really established a relationship with the other couple and know them quite well. This is one of the reasons we prefer to meet a small group of couples over and over. Its also why we don’t meet separately. We can’t imagine the risk of not being there to watch each other’s backs.
***Note - Some couples are perfectly fine with meeting alone and, for some, its their fetish.
To each their own but, we offer advice based on our experiences and meeting alone doesn’t meet the safety standard we set.***