Bob and Molly, unfortunately, were unavailable for any of the weekends we had free over the next few months. This left Courtney and me wondering how or if to proceed with our exploration. We finally came to an understanding that what we were looking for were couple friends with benefits. Not polyamory in any form, but just other couples interested in a nice dinner, a few laughs and adventuring together.
We turned back to the website, fabswingers.com in an attempt to locate anyone compatible. However, quite quickly Courtney became disgusted with the inundation of vulgar messages and dick pics swamping our inbox. So much for mutually looking through the site. Instead, after adding filters and modifying our profile, I picked up the primary role of fabswinger.com triage.
I waded through the polluted river panning for gold. Then, when I had found a few that seemed halfway interesting I would pop open the laptop and get a thumbs up or down from Courtney on prospective profiles. A thumbs up meant we would continue chatting with them and possibly set up a social if they didn’t seem too weird.
It turns out, over time and talking with lots and lots of swingers, that our method is what 99.9% of couples use to find potential playmates. I used a search filter for couples that kept the age range close to ours and looked for people within 25 miles. I skimmed through the couples that popped up looking for compatibility and, honestly, looks.
If a couple were hot, compatible to our soft swing only requirement, and close enough to set up a short social on a weeknight then I would show them to Courtney and see what she thought. Courtney would go through their profiles with a fine-tooth comb and would point out the obvious obfuscation in pictures.
“Hmm, the last picture for these folks is in 2016 and all of their pictures have the lady’s belly covered and the top of the man’s head cut off. Fat and bald? Oh, look, these folks say they are into pain and humiliation.” I know you will be amazed that Courtney was much pickier than I was.
Anyway, after several weeks we had our first “blind date” social meeting a couple at a pub about halfway between. The country pub was half thatched and cozy with a log burner tucked in the corner. As we were a tad early, we ordered a local bitter for me and a cappuccino for Courtney. She had to settle for an instant coffee with milk and sugar while my bitter was divine. We found a booth on the far side of the bar from the log burner and waited impatiently
The handful of, decidedly noncolorful, locals sat at the bar staring glumly into their pint glasses, tossing out the odd comment about the miserable weather or the miserable state of British roads. They stopped talking as we entered and silently watched us as we ordered at the bar. Then eyes followed Courtney in her tight designer jeans as we crossed to the booth. A whisper and a low laugh; then they were back onto the miserable state of the Labor party.
“They’re here,” I said quietly to Courtney as I saw, through the window, a green Nissan X-Trail pull into the parking lot.
“How can you tell?” Courtney squinted out the window as the couple stepped out of their vehicle.
“The lady, Samantha, has a short blond bob like that in the picture they sent. Also, what are the odds there would be another lady with a short blond bob and dressed for success coming here tonight?”
“True,” Courtney replied. “The leering guys at the bar are in for a treat.”
“They can’t help themselves,” I smiled at her. “You are stunning sweetheart!”
Samantha and John were delightful, funny, smart and just about everything you could want in a pair. They did suffer from being apart most of the week and struggled with the logistics of kids from prior marriages. They were more experienced than us with swinging but also were only into soft swinging.
John was pushing 6’2”, quite thin, with laughing blue eyes and a shock of light brown hair starting to grey at the temples. Samantha or “Sam” as she preferred was shorter than Courtney by a couple of inches, had a pixy nose and a dusting of freckles across her nose. Her light brown eyes went well with her short blond hair and her figure, as an aerobics instructor, was svelte!
“Well guys,” John drew the evening to an end rocking his empty pint glass back and forth, “we really enjoyed meeting you.”
“We will have to make a gym date,” Sam said to Courtney as she started pulling on her pea coat.
“Weights and aerobics!” Courtney grimaced, “I can’t just do cardio.”
“We know what you are going to be doing in a few minutes,” John added with a knowing smile.
“Oh, what’s that?” I asked him as we all stood and made our way towards the door.
“You guys are going to be talking about us.” He laughed a bit loudly for the small pub.
“And, remember,” Sam said, “we will be talking about you!” She reached over and flicked me on the chest. The locals watched us silently, until the wooden door creaked closed behind us, before undoubtedly returning to mourning everyday life.
Courtney buckled up and as we pulled away from the country pub, following the SatNav’s droning directions, she turned to me and said, “well, shall we talk about them?”