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7. A Certain Website

Updated: Apr 27, 2020

From the Vanilla Alternative hot tub, a bit shell shocked, feeling super sexually jazzed up, we decided that we just weren’t up for any public play yet. We waved across the room to Jack and Ann but only Ann noticed as Jack had is face buried between a young lady's quivering tanned legs. Ann waved us over, but we pretended to take it as a return goodbye wave and slipped away.

The club was amazing, but we were absolutely overcome with the sensory overload! We needed to take a step back to process what we'd experienced. Also, we really needed to talk through our future expectations. We had jumped right in the deep end without any sort of plan.

We were so horny that the hurried dressing and speedy drive home seemed interminable. Thankfully, the kids were already in their beds, but our frenetic sex still had to be hushed as not to wake them. Kids really are hard on parents’ sex lives!

Usually our sex is great and we intentionally try to shake things up a bit to avoid getting into ruts. This evening though, we were super jazzed (wish I could think of a better word for it) from all the stimulation at the club. The strangers interested in us sexually, the sounds of high-power sex, the live, in your face, sights of things usually only seen in porn, and the thrill of having adventured together all combined in a heady cocktail of urgent passion. We rocked each other mightily that night.

We didn’t have much of a chance to analyze our experience as Courtney was scheduled to go visit her parents a few days later and we were going to be separated for a few weeks. We managed a lunch alone prior to her departure and in whispers tried to work through what we thought. Courtney was a bit apprehensive about attending another club but was game. I was concerned that we didn’t have a defined, jointly agreed upon set of limits to help us not make mistakes.

I could see many ways that one of us could get out in front of the other’s comfort level and end up scaring, hurting feelings, or even damaging our marriage in the worst-case scenario. By jumping in the deep end without a plan we had taken more of a risk than I’d imagined. We each had insecurities, fears, (and for me) jealousies to examine. These issues would all have to be addressed by either setting up a protective framework of rules/limits, or by working through the feelings over time. In this, we didn’t know it at the time, we were just like any other new couple testing out their limits and finding their comfort levels.

While Courtney was away visiting her family, I kept in touch but didn’t discuss our new adventure. I took the free time to try and research the lifestyle on-line. There were a few resources but there was less information than I would have liked. I went back on the Vanilla Alternative website and browsed through their links. One seemed promising, was a social networking site for people in the lifestyle and had a message board providing limited means to chat questions out to the community.

During our daily tag up, after chatting about what the kids were doing, I brought up the website and Courtney promised to look at it if she got a few minutes to herself. Being a lean forward type of guy, I took her response as a tacit go-ahead to join up and build a profile on the site.

Our initial profile was horrific. There weren’t any pictures in the public gallery, the avatar picture was blank, and the text didn’t describe us in a compelling way. Bottom-line, I wasn’t really looking to hook up with people, we didn’t even think that was something in our comfort zone. Instead I was trying to find out what the lifestyle was all about and to find contacts who might be able to answer our questions. Further, the site had information on other clubs and organized parties which we could use to plan our next adventure.

When Courtney returned from her visit home, she was quite surprised that I’d built a profile for us on a swinger web site… I had already made my first swinging mistake! I had gotten out in front of her expectations. Thankfully, she’s a tolerant and forgiving lady who only drug me through the coals a bit before letting me off the hook.

Now, on the same page, we sent a picture to and received our verification as an actual real-life couple. We dropped a couple of tasteful pictures and worked up a body of text to describe ourselves. Further, we decided to try another club not too far from the first club we’d attended. This one was called Jay Dee’s. Our anticipation/fears/excitement started to build knowing we were once again about to surprise ourselves with a sexy real-life adventure.

Oh, if you want to find us on look up "idquest" :)

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