Advice – The Surprising Temporal Impact of Group Sex!
We have a great sex life. Hubby and I have great fun and typically sex lasts about 30 to 45 minutes when we have time. When we’re in a rush, we can fit it into 20 frantic minutes. I always have an orgasm or three and Alex never complains. When we realize we’ve gotten into a rut, we make time to get away and spend an evening at a hotel. We wine and dine and then really enjoy ourselves. In short, we have the kind of sex life of which, many couples can only dream.
That being said, we’ve added swinging as a touch of spice to our otherwise robust sex life. And, with swinging comes a few surprises (hence our blog titled swinging surprise) such as just how long sex can go when you are in a group situation. I’m not exaggerating one bit when I say that we’ve had sex for more than six hours and were ready to go again not too long later! We don’t know exactly what causes this phenomenon but ladies, take it from me, there is nothing like it!
The couple who introduced us to swinging laughed at how surprised we were with the length of our first soft swing session with them. They just grinned and said, “ask anyone in the lifestyle, there is a magic to playing in a group that you just can’t imitate in vanilla life.” Magic? Well, it feels magical!
Alex thought about it and had a few suggestions that were less than magical as far as an explanation. First, he thinks there is an unspoken competition among the men to be the last one to orgasm. I told Alex that he was being ridiculous and that the male ego couldn’t possibly be the driving function. However, talking with several other couples, the men admitted (sheepishly) that they did compete to be last to orgasm.
I suggested to Alex that the extended play could also be FOMO (fear of missing out.) Maybe the guys were afraid of being the one sitting on the sidelines spent while play continued another hour without them. Alex said that, yes, that thought had crossed his mind. In our informal poll of swing friends, the guys all admitted to both the competition and the FOMO as being real.
Further, add the delaying action of condoms. Those sacks of love do deaden the sensation a bit compared to the unprotected sex only available with our mates. Maybe that could account for a little of the extra playtime? However, most of the guys we asked seemed to think the condom theory of extended play wasn’t the main reason.
Some swingers take Viagra as a recreational drug. We aren’t recommending this but do know several who swear by it as a means of overcoming some of the, “stage fright,” that hits from time to time. Viagra works as a delaying function too. Not many in our informal poll admitted to taking Viagra or Cialis to extend their sessions. So, maybe a part of the equation for the super long sex sessions but not the full answer.
Whether it’s the hyper-sexual situation, the vagaries of the male ego, fear of being the one left out, loss of sensitivity with condoms, or the miracle of modern chemistry, swinging sex lasts for hours. Our record is over six hours (nearly 7) of play. Yes, there are short pauses for water. Yes, sometimes you tap out for a few minutes. But, you really can and will have sex for hours on end when you swing in a group.
